Sunday, February 22, 2009

This is my first Live Blog, give me a break

11:52 pm - The best movie won best picture. It's that simple. I will say without any hesitation that Slumdog Millionaire is the best film of the past 10 years. It was brilliantly produced, edited, directed, acted, scored, I mean it hit the nail on the head on everything that makes a good movie great. In short, the film was a masterpiece. Cheers.

I end the night 14/24. I suck, I suck.

10:36 pm - How could Slumdog Millionaire not win editing? That movie could be shown in FILM 101 to teach people how editing MAKES a film. To see a poor (and I mean poor in the sense of costing the film best picture poor) example of editing, see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", which took an incredibly moving picture and cut inappropriate shots of a sick Cate Blanchett coughing up a lung in an Ebola-like fashion to completely turn me off the film. If the editing for that film was better, I would be pleased to see it beat Slumdog for Best Picture.

So far I am 9/17. Fuck.

10:33 pm - The Dark Knight won Sound Editing? Whaaaaaaaaaaat? And where is Christian Bale throughout all of these awards. This is shocking, and disappointing. Shocking. Also, I'm really a big advocate of Slumdog Millionaire, but I think winning Sound Mixing is completely the wrong call. Also, can you freak out for winning the academy award for SOUND EDITING?

Also, kudos to getting an Indian guy to edit the sound for Slumdog Millionaire. REAL ORIGINAL. That's just a shoo-in, similar to a jewish director winning for Schindler's could you not win?

10:16 pm - I just had a silly/awful thought while Bill Maher was being an asshole. What if one of two things happened when Heath won?

1.) Heath Ledger's body was exhumed and lowered on stage as a marionette to accept the award. Perhaps similar to "Weekend at Bernies". (Please don't hate me because of my horrible sense of humor)

2.) Heath Ledger appeared and alerted everyone that he was actually faking his death so that he could win. And now that he did win, the academy couldn't take the Oscar back. He'll be back for the sequel.

Seriously though, it SUCKS that Heath Ledger died. Unbelievable loss of talent. But people die, may it be Heath or a kid on the street slingin rocks. Unfortunately some get recognized for their death and most are forgotten. Such is life.

10:13 pm - I like Bill Maher, but come on, don't be a self-plugging shameless asshole. What a dick.

10:08 pm - I'll say it. Thank you Heath Ledger for dying and sealing your Oscar win. Thank you for also allowing "The Dark Knight" to be the first Batman movie/comic book movie to win an major academy award. Thank you. I am disappointed they didn't cut to Christian Bale yelling at Ledger's family for not being centered on the stage. I also enjoyed the cuts of actors, not actresses crying. Don't worry Brad/Adrien/RDJ (who was crying for the wrong reason), real men also cry...real men...also cry.


9:52 pm - Oh god, its happening...just as I predicted. Hugh is here to make me feel better. I'll be back when I feel like it.

9:50 pm - I'm already sick of this live blogging shit. I'm also sick of pushing Heath Ledger's Oscar back over and over and over again. Why build drama over Best Supporting Actor when its already become obvious that Heath's going to win it because of all the accommodations made for it? This is just stupid. Although I will say I think it'll be hilarious if Heath doesn't win and they built all this drama and bullshit over it. I can only hope Wolverine starts singing again to make me feel less enraged.

9:39 pm - I mean I'm sure the computer generator guy is amazing and all, but I don't think it was necessary to go from commercial to a blurb about him, then to another commercial. That's just idiotic. They should have at least filled some time with Jessica Biel stripping or Ben Stiller wandering back onto the stage as a stupid Joaquin Phoenix. Lame...

9:31 pm - Oh Lord, this can't be good for Joaquin Phoenix...

9:24 pm - Is it just me or is the kid from Twilight always look like he's got something shoved up his ass. God I think the only worse presenters could be Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens.

9:19 pm - Has anyone seen the website Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Horse?

9:17 pm - Nope I was right. I'm sweet. Dark Knight suckssssss. 3/6

9:15 pm - Fuck. I bet The Duchess is going to win now. They always let that kind of shit win.

9:09 pm - A Japanese man making a French-titled animated short film? That doesn't make any sense. 2/5

9:07 pm - Jack Black presenting the Oscar to Wall-E? Awkwaaaaaard....

9:06 pm - Well this is going to be obvious...

9:03 pm - Obligatory cut to Angelina Jolie during Jennifer Aniston speech. Standard.

9:02 pm - I bet Jennifer Aniston can't stop thinking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Look at that intimate touching of Jack.

9:00 pm - SLUMDOG! - Best Adapted Screenplay. 1/3!

9:00 pm - Slumdog Slumdog Slumdog Slumdog...

8:58 pm - Did I say Tom Hanks? I meant Tom Cruise. My bad.

8:57 pm - I didn't realize he was gay. Hopefully he'll thank Tom Hanks for inspiring his gay performance and unintentionally outing him in front of America.

8:56 pm - This is going to be a long, gay night. Dustin Lance Black won for Milk. I am currently 0/2. Here's to completely snubbing Happy-Go-Lucky academy.

8:54 pm - Tina Fey, WHAT A SLAM ON SCIENTOLOGY! I applaud her for the courage to say that in front of a gallery of Scientologists.

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